Hand Motions in Heaven

So ... for those of you who've noticed the abundance of hand motions in Christian music - this is for you.

Yes, it's a little long, but worth it.

Seriously, take a a look at it. I laughed. I cried. I felt closer to God.

Okay ... so I laughed. Parts I almost laughed until I cried.

But it didn't honestly do anything for my "walk" ...

Enjoy.

Coming Summer 2008

John Lobo is usually an ordinary man.

But on rare occasion, he changes.

When Good Friday coincides with Friday the 13th, and there's a full moon out, he transforms into a WereJesus. Half-man, Half-Jesus, all bearded, and ready to kick some butt.

This year, Good Friday is going to be bad.

How the Gamliel principle ended ...

So Tyler and I got an email today ... below it is quoted.

(Disclaimer: Story actually told by Rrevor to Tyan, names changed to protect the not so innocent)


So, Gamaliel, what do you thi--

Oh, CRAP! He's dead!

Sweet! Let's go kill some Christians!

Rrevor told me to not tell you he said this...and you shouldn't quote
him, but he's mostly chick, so no means yes!

-tc

Word of the Day

eunuch

[yoo-n uh k]

noun

- A man who has no choice but to allow his participle to dangle.

- Living proof that it doesn't take balls to follow Jesus.

The Real Story of the Theif

And, as Jesus was being executed, giving his life away for the redemption of man, two other men, both criminals, were being executed alongside Jesus.

One of the criminals spewed insults at Jesus and mocked him. He told him to save himself, and them, in a showing of his power.

The other criminal, a thief, took a different approach. He rebuked the other criminal and looked at Jesus, his heart genuine and his motive pure. He asked Jesus a simple question.

"Jesus, will you remember me when you come into your kingdom?"

And Jesus, with all the energy and passion he could muster, did answer in the following manner:

"Hell yeah!" (in a very rednecky-voice)

A Priest and a Rabbi

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying "I know that, in your religion, you're not supposed to eat pork...Have you actually ever tasted it?
The Rabbi said, "I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."

Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, "Your religion, too...I know you're supposed to be celibate. But...." The priest replied, "Yes, I know what you're going to ask. I have succumbed once or twice."

There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he was reading and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"

Jesus Wins, Fatality

Ever wish you could break out a cross and bash someone over the head with it?

Or wish you could use your finding favor in God's sight to teleport behind someone and kick the crap out of them?

What about throw (literally) the Ten Commandments at someone? Call a stampede featuring two of all animals to run over someone? Call on your man to appear from the mud and uppercut someone? Use the "Dove of Brutality" to get your point across?

Now ... you can ...

Click Here to Make your above listed dreams come true!

Some random questions

A couple of questions inspired from a trip last weekend ...

At a Mormon wedding, when they do the garter toss, do only unmarried men come up, or do all the men come up?

If Christ is the answer, is the question "What do you say after 'Jesus' when yelling at something/someone stupid?"

Since the prophesies Jesus fulfilled he also inspired to be written, doesn't that make them self-fulling prophecies? Isn't it kind of like betting the director of a movie how it ends?

Forget about being prepared ...

Jesus is coming! Look busy!


(That'll be good enough ... right? ...)

The Real Story of Moses Part 1

And so God had commanded Moses to go into Egypt and free His people. But doubt remained in Moses' mind. And so he asked a question.

"How will they know you have sent me?"

And God responded thusly:

"With my right hand I have created for you my chosen vessel, a gas-guzzling SUV. And with my left hand, I have created a fish decal to go on the back of your car. This is how they will know that I have sent you. By the fish on your car."

The Doxology

For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about - it's the song that goes ...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Oh praise Him! Oh praise Him!
Praise God the source of all our gifts.
Praise Jesus Christ whose power uplifts.
Praise the Spirit, Holy Spirit.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!


And the question: How does God sing The Doxology? Perhaps something like this ...

Praise Me from Whom all blessings flow.
Praise Me all creatures there below.
Oh praise Me! Oh praise Me!
Praise Me the source of all your gifts.
Praise Me whose power uplifts.
Praise the Spirit, My Spirit.
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!


Does He walk around humming it under His breath all day? It is a pretty catchy tune after all ...